New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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