Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
