Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
