For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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