Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
