Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
