i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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