It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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