i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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