Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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