Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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