the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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