Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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