Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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