I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize