I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
