Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
