Sry I called you an 8
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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