check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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