when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
