so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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