I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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