Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
this is an emotional support booty call
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
