What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we made out on top of his cat.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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