Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
