**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
