you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
