if you like me you must not know who I am
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
