im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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