You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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