Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
