I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
