I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wanna passion pit in your ass
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize