Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
that's an acceptable place to lick
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
3 2 1 whiskey
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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