Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The beer is more important than you right now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize