I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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