so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
