i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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