I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
