Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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