porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh god it's open bar.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
