I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
