I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
