She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
