textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
