Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
