Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
