Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
