too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
