Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
where am i from again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
