Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
