hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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