i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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