sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
