If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The best revenge is premature balding
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
