Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
