If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
