I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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