He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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