I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
