whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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