Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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