i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fuck appropriateness.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
