Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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