cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
