I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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