There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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