I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
